I often get e-mails from women who tell me that their spouse is cheating has shaken their faith in their marriage and themselves. They are concerned that they are no longer attractive, competent and sexy. I often hear comments like: "I feel so ugly and undesirable." Or "How could I be so stupid? " It affected the way I feel about myself. "Or: "I was always confident and had reasonably high self esteem, but this affair has made me doubt their own attractiveness. I'm so insecure now and it makes me angry and sad ."
In the next article, I will offer some tips on how to overcome these feelings in order to restore your self-worth, self-esteem and self respect.
Understand that his cheating often has very little to do with you: Many women do not believe me when I say this, but very often, his cheating is not a direct result of anything that has to do with you or marry. Many people will tell me that it makes absolutely no sense, but if you do some research, you'll see that most people have affairs or cheat as a way to calm their own self-doubt or anxiety.
If you read the interview (and even my blog comments) from people who have cheated, you will see that almost a majority, after the fact, they were very sorry and still love their wives, but they been looking for some relief for their problems in the wrong place. They will usually only realize this time the error occurred, unfortunately.
I know it's almost impossible not to take it personally, but if you could read your spouse's thoughts, you might see that his actions were a result of their own insecurities and personal problems. Now, this does not mean that your marriage or your relationship does need some work or improvements. But basically the issue is often confused action, impulsive, and often sad man. Do not confuse this for all the shortcomings on their part. These deficiencies are often simply does not exist and there is no reason for you to even more on your shoulders when these actions are not your own.
No Base your feelings about yourself in someone else's Losing Actions: To expand on this even further, try to think of this as it was not you who was involved . What if your best friend in this same situation and come to you for advice? You would probably tell her that her husband is a big mistake does not mean that there is nothing wrong with it, and that in fact it was a beautiful person inside and out, is not it? Why is not this the same advice applies to you?
No Base your feelings about yourself in someone else's Losing Actions: To expand on this even further, try to think of this as it was not you who was involved . What if your best friend in this same situation and come to you for advice? You would probably tell her that her husband is a big mistake does not mean that there is nothing wrong with it, and that in fact it was a beautiful person inside and out, is not it? Why is not this the same advice applies to you?
...No Base your feelings about yourself in someone else's Losing Actions: To expand on this even further, try to think of this as it was not you who was involved . What if your best friend in this same situation and come to you for advice? You would probably tell her that her husband is a big mistake does not mean that there is nothing wrong with it, and that in fact it was a beautiful person inside and out, is not it? Why is not this the same advice applies to you?
...You're still the same person you were at before you found out about his cheating. Yes, there are difficult times that are tough questions that you have to work through, but do not allow some actions that are not passed and over which you had no control affect how you feel about yourself. You did nothing wrong and nothing to apologize for.
...You're still the same person you were at before you found out about his cheating. Yes, there are difficult times that are tough questions that you have to work through, but do not allow some actions that are not passed and over which you had no control affect how you feel about yourself. You did nothing wrong and nothing to apologize for.
...You're still the same person you were at before you found out about his cheating. Yes, there are difficult times that are tough questions that you have to work through, but do not allow some actions that are not passed and over which you had no control affect how you feel about yourself. You did nothing wrong and nothing to apologize for.
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